Are you a conservative, introverted woman who wears jean jumpers, no make up, and white keds?
I hate to tell you, but I don’t know what you are because I’ve never met a homeschool mom who looks like that.
Yes, there are stereotypes (and we like to laugh about them – most of the time), but they usually don’t hold true.
Homeschool moms now come from so many different cultures, religions, political views, and educational backgrounds.
No matter our backgrounds though, we do often share and laugh about our similar experiences.
Keep reading to see if it matches up to your experience…or if this is what you have to look forward to!
I can’t really think of another life choice that people so innocently want to talk about with a stranger.
I mean imagine if you passed someone in the aisle and you said:
“Oh, your son just came from football practice. Aren’t you worried about issues with concussions and TBI?”
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“Looks like you guys eat a lot of processed food with sugar. Have you heard that might be bad for you?”
That would understandably be a tense conversation with a stranger….because most people don’t think their choices are anyone’s business.
And yet, people don’t bat an eyelash at asking a homeschool mom:
“But what about the social issues?”
“What about sports?”
As if you may have not considered that before this moment.
So you smile, defend your choices to this stranger as succinctly as possible, and try to keep your religion in front of your kids.
I think every homeschool mom worth her salt has found herself on page 10 of google search results reading every shred of information the internet has to offer.
Your curriculum buying anxiety requires you to read every review and blog post ever written.
You put the curriculum in your cart…you take it out of your cart.
You search for promo codes.
You check for used versions on Ebay or Amazon.
You talk to your spouse.
You ask your homeschool mom friends about it.
You ask Facebook groups what they think.
You watch Youtube videos comparing it to 10 other curriculums.
You lay awake at night and have near anxiety attacks wondering if your kid’s educational future is hanging in the balance of what curriculum you choose.
Seriously, your spouse (and everyone else) deserves a medal for just being around you during this time of year.
You have finally settled on a curriculum.
You actually pressed the “Confirm Purchase” button and it is in the mail.
The NEXT DAY you’re standing in a circle of homeschool moms and somebody mentions how much they are loving “fill in the blank curriculum” for their kid.
You snap your head around because you’ve never even heard of it.
But according to this mom – its EDUCATIONAL MAGIC!!
You start to question every homeschool decision you’ve ever made.
You wonder if you can stop shipment on the curriculum you just bought.
You cringe at all the new reviews you’re going to have to sift through.
Or maybe this far superior homeschool mom would be willing to take on your kids in addition to hers.
Should you even be homeschooling at all?!
Your poor husband is going to hear all about this tonight.
You know there are 2 kinds of quizzers.
The first kind of quizzer is trying to pretend to be casual and fun, but they are really trying to measure your homeschool with whatever facts they can remember from their school days.
The second kind of quizzer has the attitude of, “Oh, I want to help teach too! I should start asking questions so I can find a gap and start helping!”
Both kinds of quizzers test your patience and your religion.
If you intervene, you will look defensive – which plays right into the quizzers concerns about your homeschool.
So instead you have learned to pipe up:
Hey friend, what a good idea to play a game of trivia. Maybe you can answer some questions about what my kid is learning about in school this week – wouldn’t that be even more fun?! Okay, here’s your questions:
What are the three parts of an insect?
What is the difference between a cocoon and a chrysalis?
Does a butterfly build a chrysalis around itself? True or False (FALSE! It sheds it’s skin and the chrysalis is underneath)
Where do Monarch butterflies migrate in the winter?
Are Monarch butterflies in danger of becoming endangered?
It’s almost too easy to pull questions from every area of your lessons that would make the average adult squirm, squint, stare at the ceiling, and hesitate to answer.
But hey, they started the trivia game, right?
Whether it’s a normal check up or you have a really sick kid – ALL your kids are coming with you to the doctor’s office.
Everybody in the waiting room is looking at your kids with one eye and thinking, “What school holiday is going on right now? Or maybe ALL of her kids got sick at the same time?! That poor mom.”
The nurse checking you in always seems to hold the door open like she is loading Noah’s ark.
No matter how well behaved your children are, the doctor also seems to be temporarily overwhelmed when he comes in.
As if he has to mentally prepare to wade through the mass of children to locate his patient.
The library is your home away from home.
Your kids rush in the door with excitement to grab handfuls of new books.
You stagger behind them under the weight of dozens of books you have managed to save from being lost under beds, splashed with juice, or smeared with something sticky.
The librarians give you a knowing smile as you drop off the huge stack of books on their desks to be reshelved.
You have maxed out your library card more than once and probably have a back up library card in one of your kids’ names.
The staff waves goodbye as your leave with even more books than you dropped off and your little tribe is trailing behind.
Whether its a field trip or a co-op, on occasion you have to pack a lunch for your kid.
This is usually met with irritation as your child is informed of the sudden limits to their cuisine options.
“Why is there no refrigerator?”
“There is no microwave? Why? Does that mean I can’t pack any leftovers?!”
“What about a smoothie? Can I pack a smoothie?”
You roll your eyes into the back of your head and try your best to patiently explain how the rest of world eats a packed lunch.
This is usually followed with, “Well, what about snacks? What?! We can’t have snacks between breakfast and lunch?!”
You are so blown away by all these awesome facts you are learning right alongside your kids!
Why didn’t you ever learn these things when you were in school??
You try to keep these homeschool mom nerd moments between just you and your homeschool mom tribe…but sometimes they just spill out during a phone conversation with a friend, at a dinner party, or even on dates with your husband.
You are so sure that everyone else is going to be just as excited to hear the real story behind Sacagewea, how cool it is that a horned lizard can shoot blood out of it’s eyes as a defense against predators, or that Jupiter has acted as a shield for Earth – saving us from dangerous space debris.
So cool, right?!
Yeah. Sometimes you get a look that maybe you should have kept that to yourself.
You go to your regular park, play place, library, store, or Chick-fil-A and suddenly see kids everywhere.
Initially you are stunned and your kids are frozen in place.
You quickly try to think of what holiday you may have forgotten. Is it President’s Day again?
You ask someone in passing and it turns out it’s a teachers’ inservice day or a half day for some reason.
You are used to having calm, peaceful experiences here. You may occasionally see other kids, but they are usually not school age or they are another homeschool family.
Note to self, must keep better track of the school calendar.
All of your non-homeschooling friends and family think you are a super hero for being with your kids night and day.
But you don’t see it that way.
You are in on the secret.
Sure, kids are challenging when they are younger. All the diapers, tantrums, and messes are a force to be reckoned with.
As soon as they start to get past these stages though, they are bussed off to all day kindergarten. And sent home hungry and tired with a backpack full of homework.
You get to see your kids when they are at their BEST.
They are rested, fed food they like, and are learning at their speed.
You love being with them! You even have conversations with them over lunch like real little people!
Being with your kids is not a chore that you need to run away from.
You have sacrificed to so much so that you can live life with them and enjoy all these daily moments.
If you’ve been homeschooling any length of time, you have already experienced most of these things…or you will soon!
Did I miss anything? Please drop a comment below if you have your own “You might be a homeschooler if…”
I know we’d all love to read it!
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