10 Signs of A Homeschool Mom with Terrible Self Care
If you are reading this, then you’re probably a homeschool mom who already knows she has issues with self care.
You just want to confirm it and maybe find out how bad it is.
Self care is a problem for most moms – it is a draining, sacrificial job to raise children!
Being a homeschool mom though, takes sacrifice to a new level. It is so important that you take care of yourself, but many of us completely ignore our own needs.
Why Homeschool Mom Self Care DOES Matter
I know what you’re thinking. You don’t have any more time, energy, or money at the end of the day for ANYTHING.
Much less for yourself.
But deep down, I think you know you need to do better for yourself. Let me give you a few reasons to show you why you need to take better care of yourself.
1. Your Kids are Watching
This is my #1 motivator. I know my three daughters are watching and learning from everything I do.
I don’t want them to grow up to be women who do not prioritize themselves.
I don’t want them to think they aren’t worth the time or effort.
Your children are learning from you every day about what it means to be a woman.
Are you currently living and treating yourself the way you hope your kids will grow up to treat themselves?
2. Your Homeschool Will Suffer Eventually
If you truly put yourself on the “back burner” for long enough, it will get in the way of your ability to homeschool effectively.
You are the pillar that holds up your homeschool. If you are not kept in good condition, the roof will cave in!
3. Unhealthy Relationship Expectations
Poor self care is an indicator that your life is out of balance. You are giving more of yourself to something than your should.
As much as we all love our kids and want to give them everything – we have to draw boundary lines somewhere.
It is unhealthy for kids to have every ounce of their parent – to the point that there is nothing left for the parent to give other areas of their life.
The child will grow up to be very disappointed and disillusioned that their friends/roommates/future spouse are not willing or able to give that much.
10 Signs of a Homeschool Mom with Terrible Self Care
1. Scrolls right over any self care articles
You do not even think it’s important to read or listen to information about taking care of yourself.
Your first thought is, “I don’t have time for that,” or “I don’t need that,” and you scroll on by.
You need articles about times tables games and school room hacks.
Taking time for yourself is unthinkable.
2. Constantly saying you just need to get through this next thing
You have no breathing room in your life.
You are over-scheduled and say yes to everything that comes your way. As a result, you have less and less time for true rest, sleep, and calm in your household.
Stress in the common denominator in your home, not peace.
3. Putting off a doctor’s appointment for over 6 months
You have something that you’re a little worried about. Maybe it’s an ache somewhere.
Maybe it’s a weird spot on your skin. Maybe it’s hormonal issues. Maybe it’s a stomach problem.
Deep down you know you should get it checked out, but you don’t have time for a doctor’s appointment.
You can’t seem to schedule the appointment for yourself, you don’t want to pay the co pay, and you just hope it will go away.
4. Constantly apologizing to friends
There is no time for keeping up with your friends. Every minute of the day is devoted to school, keeping the house up, and the many extracurriculars.
You have no time for phone calls and you are the queen of delayed text responses.
Your kid has daily social time with friends, but you would never think to schedule something for yourself.
Slowly you feel yourself being pulled away from your friends as you become more and more isolated.
One day something big happens – good or bad – and you realize you don’t really have a friend to call about it.
5. Too tired at end of the day to enjoy time with your husband
Your husband has fallen to the bottom of your priority list. Homeschooling and being a mother is like a vacuum that sucks up everything you have to give.
You have actually started to resent him for even asking you to give more at the end of the day.
How can he not see how tired you are??
6. What is a hobby?
You burst out laughing when someone asks you about a hobby.
You liked doing some things before kids, but these days – Netflix and Facebook scrolling are the only things you have energy for at the end of the day.
7. No idea when your last dental appointment was
You take your kids to the dentist, but your regular cleanings and exams are years overdue.
You are pretty sure that this will explode in your face some day, but…what are you supposed to do?
Hire a babysitter? Ask your family to help you? Tell your husband you need him to take a half day?
Nope, you are just going to keep neglecting yourself till your kids can stay home alone or you are in such terrible pain that it becomes an emergency.
You’re not sure what you’ll do then…but oh well.
8. Have not bought new clothes since before your last baby
Your kids need clothes and shoes and that is expensive enough.
Plus, it is stressful to run errands with all your kids. How could you possibly be expected to also look through racks of clothes and find something you liked?
That’s crazy! Not doing it.
That especially goes for underwear and bras. No one even sees those – who cares how old they are!
You are going to continue wearing the same stuff. It doesn’t matter if you like them or if they fit anymore.
That’s just what moms have to do.
9. You’ve started to gain weight
Homeschooling requires quite a bit of sitting, so you are not as active as you used to be. There is also no time for you to exercise when you have the energy AND your kids wouldn’t be crawling all over you.
You are home a lot, so you can grab something to eat whenever.
You have succumbed to a stress diet of whatever your kids are eating – plus whatever you can sneak when they’re not looking.
It would be unthinkable to take the extra time and effort to make something fresh and healthy for yourself.
10. You refuse help when it’s offered
Your friends and family fall all over themselves saying, “I just don’t know how you do it!”
They offer to help you now and then, “Anytime you need to drop the kids off, I’d be happy to help you out,” or “Let me know if you ever need a hand.”
You never take them up on it. You are drowning, but you wear it like a badge of honor in front of your friends.
You don’t need anyone’s help to keep this ship afloat, thank you very much.
You don’t even ask your husband for help when you need a break or just need to get out of the house.
It would be a failure to admit that you need help. And you resent him when he says he wants to play golf or go out with a friend.
You are unwilling to admit you need a break, and you think he has a lot of nerve to want a break for himself.
Did that sting?
My hope is that you are the total opposite of this and have no idea where I came up with these outlandish ideas.
But…if your cheeks are burning….if you are freaked out that I have been spying on you…please know that you are not alone.
Whatever is most personal, is always universal.
Recap Homeschool Mom Self Care + Free Printable!
Just recognizing and admitting that you need help with self-care is a huge step for many people.
The next step is figuring out how to make time for it AND stay consistent with it.
I have developed just the tool to help you crush this area of your life and actually change.
“Not Your Mama’s Chore Chart!” is a weekly chore chart with a long list of (fun!) things for you to choose from.
You choose one “chore” a day to add to your chart.
I highly recommend displaying this chart so that your kids can track your success and see their homeschool Mama taking time for herself!
When you subscribe to The Simple Homeschooler (No Spam, unsubscribe any time), you will get this awesome tool for free today!
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Definitely a spy in my house lol, I think every single point I’m guilty of apart from scrolling past the self care blog, how else would I have found this eye opener.
As a homeschool mum, it is so hard to actually allow ourselves time for ourselves but after almost a year of being burnt out and fighting depression I strongly urge other mums to try and schedule time for you. It isn’t wrong or selfish, you need it and will thank yourself and this blog in the future.
Good luck to all mums with the habit of not practicing self care I pray you all find something that breathes life into your soul each day ❤